CPU

THE LEGEND OF CPU v3.0

June 20, 1990. An ordinary day for the rest o’ mankind. A day not unlike any other. But inside the walls of PLM something is brewing. A certain being by the name of Lorico, an instructor actually, asks his studes to form groups of five for a case study.

Immediately two friends, Jonathan Tecson and Israel Vinuya (aka Ivee) forge a bond based on mutual trust and respect. But they need more. They seek in vain for other mortals to fill the void. They almost give up. For none seems worthy enough.

THE CHOICE…

But wait. Who is this enigmatic dude at the corner? Drawing and scribbling. Unmindful of things around. Lost in his own quiet little world. Ivee and JoTec seems reluctant to approach this guy ’cause he seems too absorbed in whatever he’s doin’ and can’t be disturbed.

But since due to lack of options, unfortunately, they approach him and ask him to join them. Surprisingly this guy with the brown-rimmed glasses, who introduces himself as Rommel de Leon, said yes and finally a triumvirate is formed.

GROUP NAME…

Next a name is needed for the group, for what is a group without a name. They drain their brain thinking hard for a name. Something that’s catchy. Something related to their course. Something… Alas! A name is found. And it’s (drum roll)… Computer Programmers Union or CPU for short. A proper name indeed!

MORE MORTALS JOIN…

From out of nowhere a guy (?) approaches them and pleads to them to accept him. Out of sheer goodness and human compassion they accept him. His name is Archimedes Salamat.

Another one, the official one, but with another schedule is the clean-shaven, short feller named Aubrey Cabalteja. A guy who loves to watch the Betamax during early mornings. He came to be known as the official fourth CPU member. There was a time when he has to go home early for some unknown reason…

TRIUMPHS & VICTORIES…

Now, the CPU wage war against computer illiteracy and amongst themselves on occasion. They master BASIC, Pascal and other software packages and they come out victorious. They survive numerous battles like the Blockbuster (they bummed out here) and Pictionary (they almost won here) and the infamous July 16th earthquake (Wow, who can forget that long vacation…). After a short hiatus, the CPU has joined forces once again. And now, they’re stronger than ever.

BAD DAYS…

As the memories of the first semester fades and as the second semester dawns, sad things afflict the group. Aubrey tranfers to another school for reasons still undisclosed up to this day. He did not even say goodbye. And JoTec, due to vincible ignorance, is unable to join the schedule of Ivee and Rommel. Thus, it seems that the CPU is on the verge of breaking apart. But it ain’t over till the fat lady sings. And she ain’t singing yet…

MENTOR & PROTÉGÉ…

Classes start anew and they seek out potential members of the group. The first to join the ranks is a quiet, soft-spoken guy named Norman Lopez. Looks can really be deceiving. Behind the reserved exterior lies the brains of a geek in league with Bill Gates and Peter Norton. You can never tell outright that this guy is a great programmer. But anyway, he’s still a cool guy to hang out with. He is also an expert in Math. Analysis. Almost used it to win the heart of a lass but too bad he’s too slow to react, or is she?

His mentor is Jonathan Casuayan. Born on the summer of ‘69 friends affectionately call him Tatang or Lolo since he’s the eldest and most mature member of the group. But he goes by the name Ota. He is the official spokesman, adviser, father-figure, figure-head and the maestro. Group members come to him for advice on love and other related or unrelated topics. But beware! For a man of such good qualities, he also has a dark side. He has a passion for telling corny and lengthy jokes. Ask anyone. They’ll know for sure. Together the mentor, Jonathan, and his protégé, Norman, has a reputation for being always late.

THE KID…

The Room of Comfort (Where One Toils) is an unlikely place to meet new members but just ask Israel. Here is where he meets Raymond Racho. As opposed to Jonathan, he is the youngest member of the group. He is notoriously known for his line “Mukhang first year, puwedeng kikilan.” An air of mystery surrounds this guy. But he surely got the qualities of a good computer programmer and for this reason the CPU, without hesitation, recruited him.

Now these new recruits together with the original founding fathers (except Archie and sad to say, the deserter, Aubrey) form the all-new and all-different CPU.

ENTER: THE CHICKBOY…

As time passes by, a cool, suave guy starts to hang out with them. Once. Twice. Thrice. And who knows how many more. A man who exudes coolness and machismo. He strikes fear in the hearts of mere mortals. Does this man have a name, you may ask. He does. And it’s Ceferino Santiago. But he is better known as Pinong.

His fave quote is “Kaunting kaalaman, delikado ‘yan” made famous by our now terminated dean (heaven knows where she is now). He is a natural romantic and easily wins the hearts of girls. He has the heart of a true leader. It’s no wonder that when the CPU tried to register their group they all decided in unison that he should be their president. Unfortunately this never materialized. Now the CPU, with Pinong, continue their never-ending fight to survive the trials and hardships of the ongoing semester.

THE FIRST LADY…

One day while in their assembly language class, their instructor (the aforementioned terminated dean) gives a boardwork. One of their classmates, a female, volunteers. She finishes the program in no time to the amazement of all. An ominous silence follows.

The CPU guys are clearly impressed by her performance. They unanimously decided to recruit her and to be their first and only female member. This cute girl goes by the name of Ana Marie Valdez (aka Marie) and from then on she came to be known as the First Lady of the CPU.

THE ARTIST KNOWN AS BOY T…

Days pass. Then weeks. Then months. Then the semester. After a short break it’s class time again. This time, JoTec, overcoming his vincible ignorance, has joined with the rest of the CPUs again. He befriends a quiet and curly guy from Batangas named Edwin Bathan. He is a great all-around artist. He brings an artistic touch to the group.

He is also well-known for his guitar-playing. He inspires other members to play the guitar. He can also sing while playing the guitar. But maybe he should stick to just playing the guitar. So seeing how the force is strong within this one, the CPU quickly recruited him and he becomes the ninth active member of the group. Group members affectionately call him Boy T.

POETIC TALENTS & SMILEY…

Now the group’s poetic talent is revealed. They finish in record time their magnum opus, “Tulang C.P.U.”, on the 24th day of August, 1992. This poem is the result of the collaboration of each members of the group with each member doing a stanza about himself or herself as the case may be.

Now during the development of the poem a new member is added. Thus completing the perfect circle of ten. He is a wisecrack, very funny and smiles a lot. (You can see his smile a mile away — our source said) He is also the resident “bugaw” of the group. Thus endangering his life not a few times. His name is Armando San Buenaventura, the tenth member of CPU.

During this period they have also written another piece of classic, “Ang Hibik ng C.P.U. sa Skratch Co.”, which is dedicated to their dear and very close friends the Skratch Co.

TETANO!!!…

All groups have their identifying expression. And the CPU is no exception. The group’s official expression is “tetano”. Pronounced with a stress at the last syllable. Where did it originate? No one is sure now. They say it’s either Rommel or Ivee who coined it. But whoever coined it, it sures sounds good when said.

CRUSHES…

Contrary to popular opinion, geeks do fall in love. But more often than not, they keep to themselves. A certain girl took their collective breaths away. Their heartbeats race each time they see this girl. And most of the time they see this girl in the canteen. Thus, the origin of her monicker, Ms. Canteen. But none have the strength to approach her. They are just happy to stare. Only Pinong, the ChickBoy himself, dared to call this crush-ng-CPU.

In another time, at the now restored library, another girl took their fancy. Particularly Rommel and Ivee. But geekiness run strong in their blood and they could not even muster up enough courage to ask the girl’s name. Good thing though, that Odette, a member of Skratch, is around. Pathetic as it may sound, they sheepishly requested Odette to get the girl’s name. Odette, ever the loyal friend, gladly obliged. The boys are now happy and contented to know the girl’s name. But to protect her identity, she has been referred to from that day onwards, as Ms. Interview.

MUSIC VENTURES…

The members of the CPU are really an ambitious lot. During their on-the-job-training at Shell they form a singing group called A.L.G.O.R.H.Y.T.H.M. (A Local Group Of Radical, Hip, Young, Talented and Handsome Musicians). As of press time still nothing is heard from the A.L.G.O.R.H.Y.T.H.M.

Frustrated with recording live music they ventured into multiplex recording. “Arrays N’ Strings The Best of C.P.U.” is the fruit of their labor with each member doing a number. They collaborated on most of the songs producing one of the most unpredictable music in history. It is full of gags, dedications and unadulterated laughter. A record like no other.

One such standout is an acoustic number entitled “Mahal Kita Walang Iba” featuring Edwin on guitars and Pinong on vocals. With Pinong’s cool voice and Edwin’s eloquent strumming of the guitar, it is a definite hit that will melt every girl’s heart.

SOFTWARE…

And of course, what’s the CPU without the software that they have produced. Over the span of four years they have developed numerous software that have benefited both themselves and others. From games, utilities, compilers, languages, DBMS, and so on and so forth. They have done it all.

Surely, the best one is CPUDraw! which became a household name during their fourth year and after. Who can forget ProSym, the language that they have developed along with its compiler. The great utilities like Turbo Reinforcers, The COBOL Ensemble and CrTVision. Not to mention a host of games like Perflex, Bingo Chess, and so on and so forth.

THE MERGER…

Now something happens that is bound to happen. The merger of all mergers. The merger to end all mergers. A merger to rival the union between IBM and Lotus, the investment of Microsoft on Apple, the buyout of Macromedia by Adobe, etc., etc. This is the merger between the C.P.U. and Skratch Co. What comes out is Skratch.CPU — which is definitely better than the sum of its parts.

THE LEGEND CONTINUES…

After four years of happiness, sadness, outings, failed loves due to katorpehan and destructive fires, college days are finally over.

The CPU are now in the real world just like Neo. Facing real challenges and still coming out victorious. Seeking new inspiration and gaining extensive knowledge and experience everyday to help them face the not-so-far future.

And after 17 years, their bond remains strong. Even though scattered now in different lands, they still keep in touch. Some are now married. Some are yet to marry. Some have kids. Some ain’t got any. Some are still single. Others have become singles again But the friendship remains. And that’s what counts…